Anger Management

Everyone knows the feeling of being frustrated or angry. This can be about very small things like not putting back the cap on the toothpaste or your housemate is playing the music too loud. It all starts with minor issues that will build up and build up over time and finally.. you explode (also called the volcano). This is the moment when you get a burn out towards the other person and the other person you are yelling at doesn't even know what he or she did wrong. The way to get in control of your anger is to be assertive and to address your anger. But I know people are scared of conflict. They will avoid it all costs. But what happens when someone annoys you? You probably bite your tongue and say nothing which results in you being more frustrated then you were before. It will build up and build up over time until one day all this anger will come out. If you would have been assertive and addressed it, your frustrations would have been gone and it would feel as a great relieve. Another way to address your anger is to set clear boundaries. Know where your boundaries are, and say NO if people cross them. If people know that they can cross your minor boundaries they WILL cross them and will go further and further. If you do not set clear boundaries you won't be able to be in control of your anger. Having clear boundaries and enforcing those boundaries regularly, through telling people when they have crossed over those boundaries will insure that you effectively manage your anger.

Passive aggression is also an expression of anger. It is a socially excepted way how people dealing with their anger. But that doesn't mean it is less worse than the volcano. Examples of passive aggressive are: using sarcasm, avoidance and the silent treatment. People who are using the silent treatment (and that are a lot of people) doesn't want to make a scene, they remain quiet and say nothing. They expect that the other person can read their mind and know what is wrong. It can be one of the most annoying emotions not only to experience but also to project on other people.

Then there are the short term band aid solutions to cope with your anger. They are called band aid solutions because they only work for a short period of time. People will drink excessively, sport excessively, go Facebooking, gossiping, shopping all the sort of stuff to keep your mind of the problems. But these solutions won't work for the long run. It doesn't solve the real problem. That is why it is so important to be assertive and to address it. I know it is difficult to start that confronting conversation but once you've done it you realize that it helped you to get rid of those angry frustrating feelings. Just try it, you see it will work.